that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
You have to summon your inner elephant
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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