Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
