Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize