Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
My cat gives me a boner
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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