Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
