Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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