Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
