i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Need sex. Gaining weight.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
