so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
