my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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