I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No...this little piggys going to the bar
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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