I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
