So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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