I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
