she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
