i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
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