he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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