It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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