I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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