I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
