so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Randomize
