Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.