I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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