I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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