Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
