You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
