Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
did you just send me my own nude
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
