"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
