Whatcha textin bout Willis?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
