I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize