420 ftw
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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