So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
