oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
