I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Randomize
