im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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