Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
