Sry I called you an 8
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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