I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
