Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
