happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Then you guys just all showered together...?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize