She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize