I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
