just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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