he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
