We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
