C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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