talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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