if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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