just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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