She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize
