what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
