Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
