I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
