I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
