I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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