when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
