Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
