why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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