the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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