Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
